There is no XX in Leadership

I attended a very inspiring leadership for women summit last week which was organised by Liquid Learning.

While some speakers resonated more than others, a general theme definitely did. Mainly because it’s something that I myself have been giving a lot of thought for some time now. And that is why we still have this gender distinction at all. Are ‘Women and Leadership’ really any different from any other type person who is a leader. While I am the first to admit that I thoroughly enjoy the experience of networking with like women and being reassured we all face similar challenges and issues, I am quite sure men don’t have ‘men in leadership’ events or talk about their gender as being in the equation. I wonder, by drawing the distinction, do we become a self-fulfilling prophecy?

I don’t think people are different because we’re men and women, I think it’s because we are individuals, and no individual is alike. This applies equally to men and women as it does from other groups that have similarities but are also individually different and diverse. These differences create diversity and bring a positive dynamic to different situations in and outside of the workplace. And while things might be more likely to apply to certain groups, it certainly won’t always be the case. Generalisations don’t help and in my opinion go on to perpetuate the problem.

People might find various things more challenging in their career for many reasons including development needs in the areas of experience, wisdom, capability, or confidence. People may have young children or elderly parents and at this point in their life the balance needs to tip in favour of family. They may have other focuses and passions outside the workplace such as sport or creative outlets. However this can (and should) equally apply to men and women.

I think, at least in the places that I have worked, we are getting better at being less overtly discriminative in the workplace. However it’s the unconscious and still accepted bias we have to work on now. The ones that when really analysed aren’t quite right, but no one blinks an eye. Just the other day I heard a male senior manager say to his female colleague, who was following up on a deliverable, to stop nagging him because she was sounding like his wife! Would he ever say this to a man?

Other instances questions or statements around how women in senior positions balance work and family. A question directed only at the women in a meeting to see if they are able to stay a little longer or do they have to leave to pick up kids. While it’s nice to be asked, and don’t get me wrong I know these are well intentioned questions, however it still makes me want to slap my head and groan. Okay sometimes I actually do. Because men don’t have family responsibilities, right?

The view of what is accepted needs to change. We need to challenge these situations, assumptions and statements and question whether a) does the situation equally apply to all (answer is usually yes) and if yes b) treat all equally in your thoughts, comments, decisions and intentions. There is a lot more to lose than there is to gain by not doing so.

While we have a long way to go to solve all of our equity problems, if we can all just open our eyes, be a little more aware, and try and bring the unconscious bias into the conscious, workplaces and society as a whole would benefit by being a little further on the way to being truly diverse; and experiencing all the benefits that come with that.